If I can’t have you, no one else will…


I was very disturbed the whole day today due to this horrible news in today’s Times of India. As per the news, A rusticated engineering student ran his vehicle over the girl who refused to reciprocate his feelings in Bhopal on Thursday.

That’s so horrible. I was looking for more information on this incidence when I came across a few more similar recent happenings. According to this news in late April 2011, a jilted lover in Ranchi beheaded the girl he loved just as she was coming out of the examination hall. And in this incidence in September 2010, a spurned software engineer in Visakhapatanam slit the throat of his beloved in an internet cafe.

How can one get so angry at a refusal that he wants to kill the person he loved? What transpires in that person’s mind? How does he turn into a monster? Or was he always one, hiding his true self? And what about the poor girl? Doesn’t she have a right to choose who she wants to have as a life partner? That she should have to pay with her life for making a simple choice? These questions kept bugging me through the day, particularly because I am a father of an eighteen year old beautiful girl.

I don’t have enough information about any of these boy’s family backgrounds.

Were these boys raised in families where they got everything that they wished for. So they were not used to being refused anything? I see such families around me all the time. These are nuclear families in which both husband and wife work. There is never any time for the parents to look after themselves, leave alone the kids. They try to make up for their absence by buying things for the children. So the kid is not used to hear a no for an answer.

Were these boys raised in families that treated women as things? Things that can be owned? Things that have no feelings of their own? Did these boys respect the womenfolk at home?

And what about the girls? When faced with advances from such a person, what should they do? Curse there destiny and concede to the monster’s demands? With a typical upbringing in a middle class Indian home, we always train the girls to adjust to circumstances. But we must also train our daughters to know when they need to resist. As parents, we must rise above our own fears and support our daughters so they can be brave. I will.

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3 Responses to If I can’t have you, no one else will…

  1. Priya says:

    Very well said Sir, I personally feel its the lack of respect for women that makes a person behave this way towards a girl/women. I think this is an example for teenagers, but above that also there are many women who are facing issues in their life just because the men in their life don’t treat them well..

    Upbringing matters a lot and specially for guys its a must that they learn how to behave with girls atleast if they cant respect them, they should learn how to behave with them.

  2. When I hear something like this… I think and I thank god that I am a born in a family where I have been thought to respect women and their rights.

    I must say If we practice the religion this kinda thing will be eliminated from the society.

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